Feel Good...Look Good

So we've gotten the scale back and I've been plateauing BIG TIME. Still at a ten pound loss, but honestly I'm happy its not the other way around. Honestly, I simply could just be trying harder and I need not to lose my motivation. With my crazy schedule, I haven't exercised in a while but I'm getting back on that. My clothes still fit better, and I've still been getting compliments & stuff but I still feel as if I'm right where I started. I've gotten a burst of inspiration a few nights ago from watching a late night show hosted by comedian and actress Mo'nique. Now Monique is a thick woman and is very confident and proud of it. Like som women who flaunt their thin-ness, she flaunts her thickness and I've always admired that about her. I'm far from being that confident and her ppersonality always made me feel proud that not every big girl out there is sad and depressed and has a hard time loving themselves. So ne-way, Monique decided to lose a few pounds for the sake of her health and her family. She has lost 40 pounds thus far and weighs about 220. She looks wonderful I might add. She didnt join any fad weight loss program, or fad diet, or have any surgeries. She simply ate better and exercised. She is still a thick girl, but she looks great, and much healthier. And as usual she looks happy...but a different kind of happy. The kind of happiness that comes from within, from being proud of yourself, from loving every ounce of your body. I want that kind of happiness. The feel good look good happiness. However, during this weight loss journey, I've realized that I have some issues buried under my weigh problem. So no matter how much I lose I will not achievve my place of happiness until I shed what has really been holding me back from enjoying life. I'm filled with insecurites and fears of simply living and there is no clear cut answer on how to make it all better. I guess I found myself on a new adjacent path. I don't only have to fix my outside but my insides need some healing as well....